Is it possible to honour all of my feelings, even the ones I would rather not have, without getting sucked into the quicksand of emotional discomfort?
I am learning that in addition to making sure my body’s needs are met, with hydrating, eating and moving my body often, I benefit from acknowledging my Being, and it’s awareness.
Sometimes I am aware of emotions, low mood, lethargy, or anxiety. Especially when an emotion is intense, and has a ‘sudden onset’ and no obvious trigger, I have been asking the valuable question “Is this mine?” And I was surprised, at first, to find that often, what I was aware of wasn’t mine to begin with.
I had frequently been making the error of feeling something, and assuming it was mine, simply because I was feeling it. After I had assumed it was mine, I made it mine, adopted and instituted it, and all of it’s limitations, as real.
I have noticed lots of judgement in the litany of my mind’s chatter. I notice that when I asked if the judgement was mine, the response was easy, and Light, in my body, nope, totally not mine. Cool.
I perceive that judgement limits awareness, and creates separation. So far, I vastly prefer connection and awareness, and I am learning to notice judgement when it arises. I can acknowledge that judgement isn’t fun for me or my body, and I would like to choose to create from a place of zero judgement.
In transparency, I have also noticed myself hiding self-limiting choices, and justifying old habits and patterns that I would very much like to be free of, in totality, for all eternity. It is amazing how many ‘brain-calculations’ it takes to hide something from yourself, something you would rather deny, ignore, avoid, and escape from.
What if I could be choosing more allowance of me, right now? What if when I choose total allowance of me, and true caring for all of me, I can be and receive enormous contribution here?
So far, one of my hardest homeworks is to consistently choose to perceive, know, be, and actually choose to be all of me, and my extraordinary capacities, in total allowance of me, and all of who I Truly Be.
What if, when I am in allowance of it, my awareness is enormous, and extends much further than the edges of my body, my home, or even the planet?
What if I can open more choice for my body, mind, and Being, by engaging different language when I notice emotions? Would saying that I perceive anger give me more choice than saying I feel angry, or I am angry?
I perceive more choice when I say “I am aware of anger,” or “I notice anger here.” I find that when I say “I am angry,” I am defining and limiting me with the anger, rather than with the possibilities my awareness and perceptions provide.
It is a small shift, and yet, for me, it seems to provide just a little bit more space to choose with, and I like creating with more choice, freedom, and ease. Yes please. More freedom, choice, and ease, please.
What do you want to choose? Judgement of you, or Allowance of you?
Im gonna give allowance some more practice and get back to you.